well...i guess when i go jobless..my world is juz getting really bad...my parents' attribute to me are like shit..they always think tat i am a child..dunno how to think..my dad will think tat i am juz loofing ard..my mum will think tat i am juz a useless piece of crap who dun think abt his future..i mean come on..i am juz jobless for abt 2 weeks..i din really ask money from them..and seriously...i need to learn C++ myself in order to do an assignment..my mum even says that she was afraid to tok to me becoz everytime when she nag at me..my face turns bad..but hey...in the first place..does she ever know wat is she toking..everything so negative abt her son man..thinks like i got no plans..i am so lazy...i am so nua and so on..then..i was thinking..so the time when i was at my ex company..when i always OT like mad..dun get to see her often..she dun mind that kind of life? when she dun get to see her son at all..then it sets me thinking again...am i a burden to them..my mum always say she shldn't have give birth to me..though tat comment might sounds nth to u all..to me..i feel the hurt there..to them..i am juz a burden..to them..i am juz someone who add on more shit to them..then seriously..i am not..at all...

my mum says she spoils me..maybe i am...i dunno...sometimes..i dun even feel that i am spoiled...i do ask them for stuffs..but only on occasions..not all the time..mostly birthdays..tat's all..i dun really ask them for extra cash...i even volunteer to go on sch loan coz i dun wan to touch their assets..she did mention to sell the hse but i told her not to do so..

sometimes..i know tat i muz cherish my parents more...when they are still ard...but then..if ur parents are so negative abt u...i dunno wat to do..i guess i muz work my ass out..maybe until one day i totally cannot take it and going down..then..they will realise tat i am an adult..lol..ok stupid thinking..i know i shall work hard..i shall go for the best..all i need is juz support..not all the negative stuffs that bring me down...

kinda low...but i will try to keep my spirits up..i will...i muz show them i am not a crap...


Signing off~~